Body Confidence. where do I even start?

You see there are days I get so frustrated with myself, there are days just like you I look in the mirror and I struggle to accept how I look. I get down and I get upset. It has been an ongoing issue for a while now. But lately, it has been taking up way too much of my thoughts.

Lately, I’m trawling my own pictures, pictures, and videos from years ago and comparing and then self-loathing. And I’m pretty certain as I write this someone else relates to this.

I used to look different .. thin and lean. I used to look the part.

What triggered this surge, I’m not sure, maybe it was the end of relationships and beginning new ones, maybe it was all the injuries I have at the moment, some of it has been seeing pictures.

I know I certainly look at some pictures and think WOW I am meant to be the trainer, I’m meant to look a certain way. Society says as a Personal Trainer I should be aesthetically pleasing to the eye .. ripped toned and thin. But the reality, the picture I see in front of me isn’t that at all. Not anymore.

But this is me now. This is my body and I should be proud of it.

It may not be ripped and toned and it may not be how the world thinks it should be - but fit looks different on everybody right?

I eat well and balanced I workout 5-6 days a week doing things I love I get outdoors all the time I practice yoga and meditation I engage in positive mindfulness

Yet still, my body is not perfect. But perfect for WHO ??

Sometimes I could cry with the battle in my head.. Being in the public eye and not being what the public expect. I worry what people think of me and how I’ll be judged.While in the same fleeting breath I’m telling all my clients to LOVE THEMSELVES.

The pressure from the outside can be unbearable at times this pressure then becomes an internal battle


You see in reality my body is perfect for me. Deep down when I dig and see a little sense I KNOW THIS.

My body has been through a lot, some things many people would give up at, but this AMAZING body of mine keeps chugging along.

My body has survived 2 stillbirths, 5 live children, and 17 miscarriages.

It has survived illness, it survives lupus and addisons every single day. Those who know me know right now I'm not in the best health yet still it allows me to be here.

It has survived operations after operations and a fair few scares.

It has survived injury after injury. These last 3 years has just been an onslaught, 2 broken wrists, a rotator cuff injury, broken ankle, fractured knee and at present a broken thumb, and yet STILL it allows me to workout around it.

It may not look AMAZING but this amazing body of mine got me to the top of Kilimanjaro ALONE …

It allowed me to take up cycling and considering I’ve never cycled before. London to Paris here I come.

It allowed me to walk into the gym for the first time in months yet still hit PBs

It may not look toned and ripped but it can do any exercise I throw at it

I’m older and can still whip through a workout faster than people half my age

So society while I may not look fit I am very FIT.

You see being fit and healthy is about what your body can do .. how it makes us feel and NOT what it looks like according to SOCIETY.

And perhaps if social media and all of its jumped up Fame hungry PT’s stopped creating a perfect image Id find it easier to be accepted and easier not to judge me. We should pull together and champion each other !! Instead of digging and stabbing stand by each other as fellow HUMANS

I see my members of all shapes and sizes doing amazing things .. and yet I hear them trolled for trying to better themselves out running.

Sadly it can be so hard to accept yourself at times and it can be very hard to be open and honest about how we feel. But today I wanted to do that, to be open and honest.

Society labels us on how we look not how we are and what we can do.

So for anyone out there fighting this battle with me .. let’s focus on what your body can do what it has survived and given you. Every imperfection is a battle wound- celebrate them don’t be ashamed of them.

Understand each other and pick each other up.. be a strong army of body lovers.

And when someone feels down on themselves let’s remind them of how AMAZING they are



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